What helps children feel confident, capable and motivated to learn? It’s not just about academic ability or getting the right answer.Drawing on research from the Quaglia Institute for School Voice and Aspirations, Academy Principal in Residence Simon O’Brien has considered what the evidence means for families and how parents can help build their child’s self-worth.
The research highlights 3 important foundations for self-worth: belonging, positive role models and a sense of accomplishment. Here we share some practical guidance on simple ways families can further strengthen each of these through everyday interactions and conversations.
1. Help your child feel they belong
Feeling valued, accepted and connected at school can help children feel more confident, motivated and engaged in learning. Belonging develops through everyday experiences, such as feeling known and supported by teachers and friends and having opportunities to contribute and be themselves.
What can families do?
Ask your child about the people, places or activities at school where they feel most comfortable and connected. If they’re finding it difficult to feel that they belong, talk about what might help and, where appropriate, share their concerns with their teacher or school.
2. Help your child find positive role models
Role models don’t have to be famous people. They can be a teacher who believes in your child, an older student they look up to, a family member or a friend who encourages them.
Positive role models can show children what is possible and help them understand that success doesn’t always happen straight away. Seeing someone practise, make mistakes, persevere and succeed can help children develop confidence in their own abilities.
What can families do?
Ask your child who they admire and what they like about that person. You could also share examples of times when you, or someone they know, had to practise, make mistakes or persevere before succeeding.
3. Celebrate a sense of accomplishment
Success isn’t just about achieving the highest mark or being the best at something. Children build confidence when they recognise their own progress – whether that’s mastering something new, having another go after getting it wrong, helping someone else or doing something they once found difficult.
Recognising effort, persistence and progress helps children develop an “I can” mindset and see themselves as capable learners.
What can families do?
Instead of only asking, “How did you go?”, try asking “What are you proud of today?”, “What did you find difficult but kept trying at?” or “What can you do now that you couldn’t do before?”
Small moments can make a big difference.
Building self-worth doesn’t require a big intervention. It happens through the everyday conversations, encouragement and experiences that help children feel seen, inspired and capable.
When children know they belong, have people they can look up to and recognise their own progress, they are better placed to stay engaged and keep going when learning gets challenging.
Want to explore more practical ways families and schools can build self-worth and support student engagement?